Tegan and Madeline

I got two new kitties :)

Tegan

Madeline

they are effing adorable :)

Madeline has a broken leg... and a infection in her muscle
if it gets the the bone... she... won't make it
so we'd have to put her down

Prey?
:)

It's been a while...

"And it's been awhile Since I can say that I wasn't addicted And it's been awhile Since I can say I love myself as well And it's been awhile Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do And it's been awhile But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you"

That song is like my theme song... wow.

I'm not talking about this for attention... I truly am becoming more open about this subject. I think it means I'm getting better.

- I am addicted. I once wrote the addict has no power over the addiction... I'm coming to realize that it doesn't have to be true. My life can be better and it's getting better. It's been over two months and I'm proud of myself.
- It has been a while since I've said that I love myself as well...
- I'm thankful I have friends and family... I used to not appreciate that so I did feel like I was alone and I knew it was my fault. Don't tell me this shit about how it's not... I've learned to accept that I'm not perfect and that I do lie. I'm just glad that things are getting better because I'm letting them. Maybe it was a mind set telling me that I'm not going to be happy no matter what. Even though I say that... I think I'm falling deeper... even taking pictures doesn't really make me that happy anymore.
- Jessica really makes me happy... I can be goofy, bitchy, depressed, anything... and she'll understand. I'm not saying we never fight or I'm never mad at her... but what kind of relationship can't have that? I've been there and done that... the whole not fighting at all/no emotions thing... and I'd much rather fight. I can just vent on whatever to her and she never tells me that it doesn't matter and I'm making a big deal out of it. I love that.

You know what I've noticed? A lot of my sentences start with the letter "I"... strange...





Well...
I'm tired so good night :)

"Do you have any bawls?"

The title has abosulely nothing to do with what I'm gunna be talking about...
just to let you know

"Let's drink to get drunk, because a drunken mind speaks a sober heart..."

Hm... I really like that. Not say I drink to get drunk or that I drink at all. When I hear that (or in this case, read it) I picture two girls, best friends with secrets. They both know this. I picture them sitting on a tiny little bed taking shots of strong wiskey knowing that in the morning they'll have a hang over and barely remember what was said that night. Honestly, does it really take alcohol to speak a sober heart? I don't think so... but on with my scenario. Of course it's not the type of drunk that you walk around giggling about the carpet being comfy, it's the kind of drunk that brings out your real feelings. If that makes sense. Okay, one night, I was at a friends house... there was a couple of this... I got buzzed. My heart was in pain... so of course I was crying about everything. My "friend" had an ex boyfriend that she was talking to... supposedly she was "over him" but that night she was wanting to walk to his house to tell him that she still loves him. I think it's kind of funny what alcohol can do to us. It can expose us of the feelings we faught so hard to hide.

Just makes me kind of think...

I'm not the average teenaged girl that post blogs about stupid girls and sex. Psh, yeah, I've been guilty of that... stupid myspace. Brain washing everyone into telling all of everyone elses business to the rest of the world... or at least all the people who can read your bulletins.

Okay, I think I'll get back to that.
Thinking about that quote really reminds me of one of my ex best friends. Sounds terrible saying that but, it's true. I know that it's best for us not to be friends anymore... I don't really think our personalities really go well together.

Hm...
Don't do drugs, drugs are bad.

ha
with that ending note,

Goodnight guys